Some real newspaper headlines:

 1.. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter.
 2.. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
 3.. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers.
 4.. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms.
 5.. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? (not if you wipe well).
 6.. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope.
 7.. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
 8.. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids.
 9.. Miners Refuse to Work after Death.
10.. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant.
11.. War Dims Hope for Peace.
12.. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile.
13.. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
14.. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.
15.. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
16.. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead.
17.. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge.
18.. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
19.. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft.
20.. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
21.. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy.
22.. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half.
23.. Hospital are sued by 7 foot doctors.
24.. British Left waffles on Falkland Islands.
25.. Safety Experts say School Bus passengers should be belted.
26.. Drunk gets 9 months in Violin Case.
27.. Survivor of Siamese Twins joins parents.
28.. Farmer Bill Dies in House.
29.. Stud Tires Out.
30.. Soviet Virgin lands short of goal again.
31.. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms.
32.. Eye drops off shelf.
33.. Reagan wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead.
34.. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim.
35.. Shot off woman's leg helps Nicklaus to 66.
36.. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax.
37.. Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told.
38.. Stolen Painting Found By Tree.
39.. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies.
40.. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 years in Checkout Counter.
41.. Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years.
42.. Never withhold herpes infection from loved one.
43.. Drunken Drivers paid $1000 in '84.
44.. Deer Kill 17,000.
45.. Arson suspect held in Massachusetts Fire.
46.. British Union finds dwarfs in short supply.
47.. Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood.
48.. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees.
49.. New Vaccine may contain rabies.
50.. Air Head Fired.
51.. Steals Clock, Faces Time.
52.. Prosecutor releases probe into undersheriff.
53.. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni.
54.. Bank Drive-In Windows blocked by Board.
55.. Some pieces of Rock Hudson are sold at auction.
56.. Sex Education Delayed...Teachers Request Training.
57.. Include Your Children when baking cookies.
58.. 4-H Girls Win Prizes for fat calves.
59.. Man minus ear waives hearing.
60.. Deaf College opens doors to hearing.

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