If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again;
you'll begin to think you're a genius..

***

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss
America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss  USA  contest.

***

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world,
I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not
with all those flies and death and stuff."

-- Mariah Carey

***

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of
your life,"

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign

***

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"

-- Winston Bennett,  University  of  Kentucky  basketball forward.

***

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country,"

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

***

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm just the one to do it,"

-- A congressional candidate in Texas  ..

*** 

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

-- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

***

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities
in our air and water that are doing it.."

-- Al Gore, Vice President

***

"I love  California. I practically grew up in  Phoenix  ."

-- Dan Quayle

***

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"

-- Lee Iacocca

***

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein."

-- Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

*** 

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types
of people."

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

***

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992; because we
received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may
reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

-- Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

***

"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas."

-- Keppel Enderbery

***

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as
they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night.
And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."

-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman 

***

--- SBBSecho 3.01-Win32
 * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - wx1der.dyndns.org (1:19/33)