Revenge On Telemarketers:

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.
 
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
know?" Alternatively, you can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no
one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems ; my arthritis
is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died...."When they try to
get the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
 
3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their
company for as long as necessary.
 
4. This work great for males: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm
with XYZ Company..."
You: wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, "what are you
wearing?"
 
5. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you
been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she
tries to figure out where in the world she could know you from.
 
6. Say "NO" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep
a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if
you can do it until they hang up.
 
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Friends and Family
plan, reply in as sinister voice as you can, "I don't have any
friends...would you be my friend?"
 
8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you
get out Goat blood? How about dried up human blood?"
 
9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you.
When they get flustered, tell them that you could not give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.
 
10. Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often
can't sell to employees.
 
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the
receiver down, shout and scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.
 
12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their home number, you
say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home right?" The
telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.
 
13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
 
14. Tell them it is dinnertime, but ask them if they would please hold.
Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.
Smack your food loudly and continue to with your dinner conversation.
 
15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they
could bring you some beer.
 
16. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
 
17. Tell the telemarketer, "OK, I will listen to you. But I should probably
tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
 
18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
 
19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up.
 
20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY because you are writing every word down.


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